scattering mindless trivia

Archive for the ‘Tales from the single road’ Category

What Time is It?

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

I have been giving this alot of thought lately, and decided maybe it was time for me to start dating again.

There have been opportunities, but I seem to shy away from interested men and find all kinds of excuses not to go out.  My family feels I should go out and have a good time.  As my mother said, “You couldn’t do any worse than Pond Scum (My ex).”  She does have a point.

But, things have changed so much since my last dating frenzy, and there are days I feel I am truly too old for this world. And Cosmo magazine (where i used to get my advise years ago) doesn’t seem to fit your average 58 year old!

I don’t know…………….dating is so much work the more I think about it……….

I really don’t feel like having to start shaving my legs every day again.

 

Dating With A Capital C

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

letterc

 

“Hey, baby, want to go out ?”

“Maybe we can meet for lunch.  You have to eat, right?”

“How about a movie? I hear this one is really good.”

“Dinner………….then maybe, *wink*wink*.”

“This play has had great reviews, would you like to see it?”

“Can I call you sometime?”

(Yes, even someone as old as me gets asked out………)
And in the course of the conversations, my being a cancer survivor comes up.

Suddenly my dance card is empty…………and my phone is silent……..

Cancer has a way of doing that.

 

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Sleepytime

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

bed

When I was single, there was a point where I needed a new mattress.  My present one was years old, and I could feel the coils poking into my ribs all night long………making for a very uncomfortable nights sleep.

After much searching I found a luxurious pillow top which promised to cure all my back ailings and keep me sleeping through the night……..best of all, there was a guarantee.  If for any reason I was not satisfied, I could return it, and replace it with any other mattress they had in stock.

Excuse me………….I’m not just another pretty face, here, folks…..This was a win-win situation all the way around.

The store delivered my new mattress, and removed my old one.  I was so excited to finally get a good nights sleep…………

I didn’t.  It was awful.  My back ached worse than it did with my old one.

Back to the store.  I picked out another one.  Maybe I would go with one not as soft as the luxurious pillowtop.  I decided to try a firmer mattress.

Store delivery, and removal of the too soft pillowtop.  Ok, now! Now I’m excited to get a good nights sleep………….

Wrong! I was up all night tossing and turning.  Couldn’t get comfortable. Maybe too firm?  I was starting to get very frustrated as I made my way back to the store…..for the third time!  I don’t think the sales people were starting a fan club for me at this point.

I chose another one I hoped would be the answer to my prayers.

Here we go again.  Delivery and removal.  At this point I was on first name basis with the delivery men.  I was planning on adding them to my Christmas Card list.

As they pulled out of my driveway, it was then I noticed all the neighbor biddys peeking out their windows from behind their curtains.   It then dawned on me what this looked like to all my neighbors…………I could just hear them:

“Oh my Gawd,……..That trampy little Zelzee……….well, lordy, she just wore out her third mattress in less than four months!!!”

It just made me smile………………..

Man Theory

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

yardtools

I am single.

I have no husband, nor am I in the market for a husband. 

Therefore, I have a theory.

Men should be like yard tools.

Yard tools?  Yes………………let me explain.

You keep yard tools hanging in your garage, out of sight.  You only take them down when you need them……… to use them for the purpose they were intended.  When you are finished, you hang them back up in the garage, never giving them a second thought………….until they are needed again.

Perfect.

At least………..that’s my theory.

 

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