scattering mindless trivia



When I was single, there was a point where I needed a new mattress.  My present one was years old, and I could feel the coils poking into my ribs all night long………making for a very uncomfortable nights sleep.

After much searching I found a luxurious pillow top which promised to cure all my back ailings and keep me sleeping through the night…… of all, there was a guarantee.  If for any reason I was not satisfied, I could return it, and replace it with any other mattress they had in stock.

Excuse me………….I’m not just another pretty face, here, folks…..This was a win-win situation all the way around.

The store delivered my new mattress, and removed my old one.  I was so excited to finally get a good nights sleep…………

I didn’t.  It was awful.  My back ached worse than it did with my old one.

Back to the store.  I picked out another one.  Maybe I would go with one not as soft as the luxurious pillowtop.  I decided to try a firmer mattress.

Store delivery, and removal of the too soft pillowtop.  Ok, now! Now I’m excited to get a good nights sleep………….

Wrong! I was up all night tossing and turning.  Couldn’t get comfortable. Maybe too firm?  I was starting to get very frustrated as I made my way back to the store…..for the third time!  I don’t think the sales people were starting a fan club for me at this point.

I chose another one I hoped would be the answer to my prayers.

Here we go again.  Delivery and removal.  At this point I was on first name basis with the delivery men.  I was planning on adding them to my Christmas Card list.

As they pulled out of my driveway, it was then I noticed all the neighbor biddys peeking out their windows from behind their curtains.   It then dawned on me what this looked like to all my neighbors…………I could just hear them:

“Oh my Gawd,……..That trampy little Zelzee……….well, lordy, she just wore out her third mattress in less than four months!!!”

It just made me smile………………..

  1. 12 Responses to “Sleepytime”

  2. By Nancy on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    I always wonder what they do with the mattress that gets returned?!?!?

    I think I know but choose to ignore *gasp*

  3. By Futureblackmail on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    LOL – trampy zelzee…neighbors, ugh, nuff said.

    Did you finally end up with one that you liked?!

  4. By Melissa from Pittsburgh on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    UGH! I have mattress issues too!

    Let’s go shopping together or we can go in on one of those temperpedic thingermagoos. $$$$$$ big bucks. I’ll take 1/2 a mattress, Mr.T can sleep on the floor.

  5. By Jenni Jiggety on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    LOL! Give ‘em something to talk about, Zelzee!

  6. By Jen on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    At least it looked like you were the one having fun. Hope you got your mattress issues sorted. Nothing worse than a terrible night’s sleep.

  7. By Jessica on May 27, 2009 | Reply

    Yeah, let em wonder, that’s what I say too

  8. By Shawn on May 28, 2009 | Reply

    I love my bed—-its a firm one with a pillow top, then a memory foam on top of that—so comfy!

    Also—I love my memory foam pillow—I had sore necks until I started using it!

  9. By passions & soapboxes on May 28, 2009 | Reply

    Did you finally find a mattress?

  10. By fiona on May 28, 2009 | Reply

    lol don’t you love it? Hey what did you end up with?

  11. By Hyphen Mama on May 30, 2009 | Reply

    LOL!! Trampy Zelzee with her big ‘ole trampy earrings and shoes! I love it.

    My parents had a similar experience (but they couldn’t return theirs, so they have 2 guest rooms outfitted with rejected mattresses) and settled with that NASA memory foam thing. They both swear by it.

  12. By Mrs4444 on May 31, 2009 | Reply

    Well, Biddies DO need stuff to talk about! That’s how I know my MIL is not drinking (alcohol); the more she gossips about what the neighbors are doing, the more I know she’s at least doing SOMETHING other than drinking alone in front of the TV. (Sorry if that’s TMI!)

  13. By Yaya on Jun 20, 2009 | Reply

    Haha! We got a nice expensive mattress with a “lifetime warranty” and then place went bankrupt….

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