scattering mindless trivia

Hey! What Are Friends For?



A good friend of mine called. She was crying, feeling very downhearted and depressed. It was the five year anniversary of her divorce and moving back to her home town.

She was sad because after all this time, nothing had really changed in her life. She was still alone, working at a job where she really wasn’t happy. All her friends were here (in this town), and the people she comes in contact with can not relate to her life, as they are married with families.

I guess she called me, because she knew I would understand how she felt.
And I did………..

Never did I think I would be at this place in my life at this moment.

“Think about it, Girlfriend,” I told her, “do you really think where I’m at was a goal in my life? Gee, I hope by the time I’m 57, I will be alone, gone through two divorces… that wrecked me emotionally and one that destroyed me financially, if I’m lucky maybe I’ll have a body where every joint aches to high heaven, and please, while we’re on the wish list train, could we throw in cancer for good measure?”

She started laughing…………….suddenly her life didn’t look as bleak.

I am so glad for her……………..


  1. 18 Responses to “Hey! What Are Friends For?”

  2. By Nancy on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    I’ll raise your 2 marriages by one, call a draw on the emotional/financial show, cancer survivor trumps all … BUT, having a sisterhood, beats having asswipes in our life hands down!

    Maybe not our choices in life, but I’m finding most women our age are dealing with the cards they were handed (or drew) quite well =)

    ^5 to you too!

  3. By Futureblackmail on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    I’d like to ditto what Nancy said.

    How awesome that your friend thought of you to call and you answered.

  4. By Jen on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    Sometimes you do need to look at someone else’s life and what they have been through to put it all in perspective. I just met with my book club last night and we read The Girls. It’s about conjoined twins. A little depressing but after seeing how they triumphed after all they had gone through it makes you appreciate what you have going on in your own life. Not always easy but necessary.

  5. By Emily on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    Isn’t it nice when our own personal misfortune can be a blessing for others? Not that they wish bad things to happen to us, but it can make people more thankful for what they do have.

  6. By Melissa from Pittsburgh on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    Poor Zelzee. The brunt of the pain. I’m glad you were able to help your friend but the cost was so high.

    I wish I had a GREAT story to tell you my dear, to help you feel better, not another sad one.

  7. By Phat Mama on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    But you have this fab blog that all of your bloggy friends visit and love, and we all reach out to squeeze you tight and let you know you’re pretty cool, zelzee. :)

  8. By eileen on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    After my husband passed away, a woman at work said to me “You are so lucky your husband died. At least he didn’t divorce you”
    I looked at her like she had ten heads.
    Yeah lady, we all should be so lucky to literally dance into the kitchen one day and find the husband of 20 years dead on the floor.
    Yeah, that’s luck for you.

    My mother always told me there is ALWAYS someone worse off. And that’s true.

  9. By Becky on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    This post is precisely why you’re my hero.

  10. By KathyB! on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    Oh zelzee! I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug I can muster. Your friend is so lucky to have you.

    You are a very special person. We’re all lucky to have you :)

  11. By The Girl Next Door on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    You Are Amazing. Totally. How you keep so cool and awesome with all you’ve been through? Beyond me. Your friend is so lucky.

  12. By Jessica on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    seriously, please tell your friend feel free to write me. I am just 4.5 years post divorce and I feel the same way only I have changed so much inside and that is nothing short of a miracle but as far as men, money and career, horrible. I know you both feel. I hate being a member of a club I never set out to join

  13. By Shawn on May 13, 2009 | Reply

    Dang it—I only have one divorce—but was financially ruined by that person—-and still live hand to mouth with another man that can’t manage money, but you definitely win with the cancer! :)

    Well—and I’m not single—as my hubby may be terrible with money, but he is a sweetheart.

    YOU WIN!

    By the by, have you looked around at younger men? My hubby is almost 9 years younger and I still run circles around him!

  14. By Twenty Four At Heart on May 14, 2009 | Reply

    I can identify with this also. Having been in a bad car accident nearly 3 years ago … I still spend the majority of each week on my rehab. I have friends who check in periodically when they need to know someone’s life is in a lot worse shape than theirs. I’m so glad to be of help …??

  15. By Jenn @ Juggling Life on May 14, 2009 | Reply

    I’m attending my third funeral this year this weekend for a friend that has died too young and left teenagers behind. I try not to complain about anything.

    It must have been the sense of humor that saw you through.

  16. By Hyphen Mama on May 15, 2009 | Reply

    I do solemnly swear I will stop bitching and moaning RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

    My husband thanks you for that.

  17. By Ree on May 17, 2009 | Reply

    And this is why I think you’re pretty damned cool.

  18. By Yvonne Moss on May 28, 2009 | Reply

    Thanks for visiting my blog. You have a great attitude while dealing with illness, I gotta say. While I only suffer from chronic back problems, I have lost a sister-in-law to cancer, a best friend to Hep-C, and a dear friend who is on 28 recently lost his wife of 27 yrs. to brain cancer. He just launched a website providing encouragement for families that deal with serious illness called Anthem of Hope. Laughter sure is a good way to live. It soothes the soul!
    I will come back to read. Maybe come back for some tips from time to time.

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