scattering mindless trivia

Archive for April, 2009

Senior Compliments

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

senior

 

I work with seniors……………and let me tell you, they have NO problem letting you know what’s on their mind.

Senior:  “Zelzee………..I see you got your hair cut.”

(Mind you, I have gone thru chemo and am wearing a wig…….but most don’t know that)

Zelzee:  “Yes. It’s much shorter.”

Senior: “Well it’s about time you got rid of that frizzy shit.”

Thank you, I think…………………………….

 

_________

And What Happens After 40…..?

Monday, April 27th, 2009

40 

 

I was told many years ago, that when you turn 40 you lose a body part a year.

Now, I hate to admit it, but this premonition has come true……..much to my dismay.

So far, some of the body parts I have lost (and miss) are:
-carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists
-trigger finger in my thumb
-bifocals
-arthritis in my hips
-hearing is starting to go
-knee joint pain
-hair is gray
-I’m working with a limited number of teeth

This weekend the weather was beautiful! My sorely neglected yard was looking back at me with sad shaggy shrubs!

I knew……………….I just knew I was going to lose another body part if I went out to do yard work. But, oh no, listen to my common sense?
Not I, said the little redhead……..

Well……………
My back is out. I can barely walk. Sitting is out of the question. I had to air dry my feet after my shower because I couldn’t bend down. I’m pumping down ibuprofen like there’s no tomorrow.


And yes…………… I was warned……

 
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Stay Away Bad Mojo

Friday, April 24th, 2009

black-cat

I am superstitious.
My mother is superstitious.
My children are superstitious.
My sister is superstitious.

And we take these superstitions very seriously………..

We are very careful not to:
             -walk under a ladder
              -let a black cat cross our path
              -let salt spill without tossing it over our left shoulder
              -open an umbrella inside
              -step on a crack

We even have some bizarre superstitions to ward off bad luck:
              -you must get out of bed the same side you got in
              -you must leave by the same door you came in
              -you can only wear your own birthstone
              -never leave your car seat forward
              -never leave your shoes upside down
              -never chase someone with a broom

Even the grandchildren come up with new ones:
             -never sneak candy
             -never make mud pies in your bedroom
(I’m thinking these were preludes to some bad mama luck)

Earth Child’s husband swears he has never met a family so superstitious.
He thinks we’re crazy.
He just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
(Right, like no one has ever done that to us before……………..)

How much bad luck for chasing someone with that broom…………..?

___________

 

The Heat Is On/Off

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

I am addicted to heat. No, not the hot, burning, passionate heat………….Wait! yes, I am addicted to that heat, but that’s not the one I am talking about.

Don’t go getting me off the subject.

Okay, every night I come home from work and retreat to
the ugliest chair in the world my recliner and turn on my heating pad.
BUT……………..
lately my lower back has been sooooo sore I can barely bend over to put on a pair of pants (no this is not where I insert a picture).My sister (the Wise One) was also addicted to heat……..thanks to Zelzee……but was also complaining of aching joints, so she stopped “heating” and has been feeling wonderful.

I decided I might as well give it a try, and see if staying away from the heating pad would help ease my aching back.

STOP! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

heatingpad

So……………….I am very carefully removing my heating pad from the chair, packing it up and gently putting it away.

I better go now, and prepare a wonderful eulogy for my bestest, warm and fuzzy, comfort zone buddy.

I think this is where I start singing “Amazing Grace”………