scattering mindless trivia

The Perfect Woman

Call Zelzee gullible…. easy…. believing…. trusting….
impressionable… even innocent………
I am the perfect dream woman to a Madison Avenue advertising executive!

I believe everything I read, hear or see when it comes to product advertisement!
Oh, come on! How could you NOT trust Billy Mays???

My shower is filled with shampoo and conditioners
(must get both because they work best together, right?)
that promise to:

  • turn my hair into a 20 year olds
  • give my hair volume
  • give my hair shine
  • make me look like a hot sexy babe
  • OR you will find shower gels and soaps that promise to:

  • turn my skin into a 20 year olds
  • soften my skin
  • firm my skin
  • make me look like a hot sexy babe
  • In my make up drawers (no, one was not enough)…………
    you will find products ranging from cheap-o to “oh my God, I spent how much!”……all of which promise to:

  • turn my complexion into a 20 year olds
  • make me glow
  • make me sparkle
  • remove every wrinkle, age spot or dark circle
  • make me look like a hot sexy babe
  • Cleaning supplies are also my weakness. Don’t know why, because I really hate to clean!….
    BUT the vast collection of chemicals and gadgets have promised to:

  • easily remove dried baked on thingys
  • add shine to a 20 year old floor
  • encase me in a dust free environment
  • organize every corner of my home
  • make me look like a hot sexy babe
  • 95% of these products have been used once or twice………then put on a shelf never to be gazed on again by human eyes.
    Why do I believe every product claim?

    I guess the “S” on my forehead really doesn’t stand for hot “sexy” babe……

    1. 6 Responses to “The Perfect Woman”

    2. By KathyB! on Mar 27, 2009 | Reply

      I like to think of this trait as eternal optimism and think that I am always willing to take chances. There! Doesn’t that sound better :) And at least you don’t have an “L” on your forehead!

    3. By melissa from pittsburgh on Mar 27, 2009 | Reply

      Oh, I think if I buy it, it will magically do everything it claims to do without intervention from me… like facial creams. I buy them but do I ACTUALLY use them. NO!

      Cleaning products same way.

      Cooking supplies – YEP!

      Even stuff in the frig…if I buy it, it will cook and serve my family.

      I can now go back to reading blogs and twittering and facebooking.

      Thank you very much Mr. Billy Mays.

    4. By Jenni Jiggety on Mar 29, 2009 | Reply

      For real…I am the same way. And my oldest son is just like me…

    5. By Hyphen Mama on Mar 29, 2009 | Reply

      Yep. Me too. I have baskets and cupboards full of that same stuff. My finest moment was spending $300 on that Swedish face “system” last year that promised to make me look 16 again. In reality? I was allergic to it and it gave me horrible acne. So yes, in that sense, it DID make me look 16 again. Then I gave it away.

      The one find that did as it promised? That Zero Odor stuff that cleans my carpets like no other cleaner does. LOVE it and now buy it in bulk.

    6. By Phat Mama on Mar 29, 2009 | Reply

      I’ve always been too broke to buy any of the infomercial products.

      I gazed longingly at them while:

      Using baby lotion for moisturizer. (If it was good enough for my kids butts, it was good enough for my face.)

      Washing my hair with .97 Suave that I had a coupon for, making it .57 a bottle.

      Stroking Wet & Wild Vagina Pink polish on my nails.

      Applying Canary Green eyeshadow from the 1/2 off bin at Everything’s A Dollar store.

      After washing my dishes with a dollop of that coupon Suave shampoo because I ran out of dish soap & promising my family that the Kiwi-Cucumber scent would only add flavor to the food on the plates..

      I went out for a much needed -Dollar Tap Night- beer, positive that I didn’t look like a cheap, Wet & Wild tramp.

    7. By Dana's Brain on Mar 30, 2009 | Reply

      I think we may have been separated at birth. My shower and make-up collection look exactly the same! Ditto the cleaners – and I really, really hate to clean.

      And? I totally want a Sham-Wow.

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