zelzee

The End To My Peaceful Existence

 ”But he’s single and he’s sooooooooo nice…….”

It’s starting.

Everyone is trying to “fix-up” Zelzee.
They say, “It’s time.” Yep, time to stomp on and squish my state of singledom.
Doesn’t matter that I say no.
Doesn’t matter that I like my life just fine.
They feel I certainly couldn’t be happy by being alone………………..
They are wrong.

Besides, there are other reasons why I don’t want to date right now:

I’m tired………………..

Dating is just way too much work! Sheesh…………….it means shaving your legs, matching your bra and underwear (well, maybe not on the first date), holding your stomach in, trying to walk and make your butt look smaller at the same time, color your hair and maybe throw in some highlights (or are they called lowlights…………………what the hell are they?),
And
how do I camouflage varicose veins, cellulite, saggy butt (remember that walking part up there), arm flab that flaps in the wind, and age spots……………..I could go on, but it will only get uglier……….

Thank you, Thank you, all my well meaning friends……….I know you have great intentions, and I know your heart is in the right place, so please don’t be offended if I haul ass and……………….

RUN!     ZELZEE,       RUN!