scattering mindless trivia

The End To My Peaceful Existence

 

 ”But he’s single and he’s sooooooooo nice…….”

It’s starting.

Everyone is trying to “fix-up” Zelzee.
They say, “It’s time.” Yep, time to stomp on and squish my state of singledom.
Doesn’t matter that I say no.
Doesn’t matter that I like my life just fine.
They feel I certainly couldn’t be happy by being alone………………..
They are wrong.

Besides, there are other reasons why I don’t want to date right now:

I’m tired………………..

Dating is just way too much work! Sheesh…………….it means shaving your legs, matching your bra and underwear (well, maybe not on the first date), holding your stomach in, trying to walk and make your butt look smaller at the same time, color your hair and maybe throw in some highlights (or are they called lowlights…………………what the hell are they?),
And
how do I camouflage varicose veins, cellulite, saggy butt (remember that walking part up there), arm flab that flaps in the wind, and age spots……………..I could go on, but it will only get uglier……….

Thank you, Thank you, all my well meaning friends……….I know you have great intentions, and I know your heart is in the right place, so please don’t be offended if I haul ass and……………….
run

RUN!     ZELZEE,       RUN!

  1. 5 Responses to “The End To My Peaceful Existence”

  2. By Hyphen Mama on Mar 11, 2009 | Reply

    OMG, ain’t that the truth! The world is so convinced that everybody NEEDS to be matched up, they don’t even realize it is THEY who would be miserable without somebody to pine for and wash dirty underwear for…. you simply must need somebody…. to pick up dirty laundry and wash dishes and cook dinner. NOPE, I say… if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Run, Zelzee, RUN.

    Maybe a cat.

  3. By Becky on Mar 11, 2009 | Reply

    Oh man, dating sucks. I can totally see why you’d run.

    *shudder, shudder*

  4. By Fiona Bryan on Mar 11, 2009 | Reply

    I hear ya! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. By Emily on Mar 29, 2009 | Reply

    Oy. I am 24 and I feel like I am dealing with many of the same issues, darlin’! Singleness is indeed a universal experience. Also? Cute shoes!

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