Mar
2009
Secrets Behind The “C” Word
Cancer…………….eek!……………….run!…………………hide!
What could Zelzee possibly find humorous about the “C” word?
Well, I have secrets to tell you……dark hidden secrets “they” don’t tell you about cancer treatments.
I was diagnosed last year with Cancer of an Unknown Primary…………..kinda rare……………….leave it to me! It was located in my chest wall, wrapped around my trachea and esophagus. I underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments for many months.
Here are some of the truths of radiation therapy:
TOLD: “There will be a slight redness at the radiation site”
REALLY MEANS: Burn, baby, burn………….disco inferno on my chest! You will be wearing no sexy little cleavage peeker tops. There was a large sunburned (3rd degree at least!) circle on my chest. Wait………………..maybe I should have worn those tops……it would have been one way to get guys to look at my chest!
TOLD: “There may be some slight discomfort when you swallow”
REALLY MEANS: OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Severe esophagitis is a knife pain stabbing you from the shoulder blade in your back straight through to your boob EVERY TIME YOU SWALLOW!
Remember this when they say “slight”.
TOLD: You can change into these cute character decorated gowns before your treatment.
REALLY MEANS: These cute little character gowns are always missing the ties. Personally this didn’t bother me. I am always in a hurry, so I had no problem wrapping the gown around me and flying into the radiation area.
“Oh dear, Zelzee, you are exposing yourself!”
Zelzee calmly states that after two husbands, two children, and the true degradation of a couple colonoscopy’s thrown in for good measure, she really has no shame left.
TOLD: Treatments will be quick.
REALLY MEANS: NOT
Quick is waiting at a red light and the car behind you lays on his horn the second the light changes to green.
Quick is alcohol reaction on an empty stomach.
When you have to lay still………………………afraid the wrong organ will get fried if you move……….THAT, my friend is not quick!
Radiation was just one of my many adventures as I traveled down that bumpy ol’ road known as Cancer Lane.
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2 Responses to “Secrets Behind The “C” Word”
By kokolotus on Mar 9, 2009 | Reply
That is quite an admirable quality — the ability to take something as dark and scary as the “C” word and find the funny side of it. There is great healing power in humor!
Wishing you peace, strength and good health, as well as many, many more moments to laugh about and poke fun at!!!
By Hyphen Mama on Mar 9, 2009 | Reply
Bravo to you, laughing in the face of *whispers* Cancer. I hope it is gone….forever.